10 Random Poker Quotes

• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.