10 Random Poker Quotes

• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "No river, no fish."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.