10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"