10 Random Poker Quotes

• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)