10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."