10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.