10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss