10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.