10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• if u play for the thrill u are ill
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth