10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Welcome to kicker school
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."