10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.