10 Random Poker Quotes

• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."