10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]