10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)