10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• im going to 2 out you to death