10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Fish don't eat Nutz!