10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."