10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.