10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes