10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."