10 Random Poker Quotes

• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Fold and live to fold again
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.