10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.