10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.