10 Random Poker Quotes

• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."