10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.