10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."