10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Welcome to kicker school
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."