10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks