10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.