10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury