10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Fook the floosh droo!