10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.