10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson