10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Welcome to kicker school
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.