10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson