10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.