10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• "No river, no fish."
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm