10 Random Poker Quotes

• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is