10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.