10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Fold and live to fold again
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.