10 Random Poker Quotes

• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.