10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"