10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear