10 Random Poker Quotes

• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Fook the floosh droo!
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson