10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.