10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"