10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.