10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."