10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier