10 Random Poker Quotes

• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.